How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
