I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Where is the hickey?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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