I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
