You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I got her a Nickelback box set.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
