12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
