And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Your cock deserves a montage
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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