I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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