he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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