Plan B is the new Plan A
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Alive.
So much puke
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
