i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
