he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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