just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
we should paint friendship bongs
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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