hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
the day after is always just damage control
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
