Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
