Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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