i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
