i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
