if you like me you must not know who I am
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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