My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
