I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
