Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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