omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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