let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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