Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
she told me i tasted like america
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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