scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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