Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
