i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
