Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
