took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
