Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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