nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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