he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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