i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
