paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
