I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
