Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
