I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
