Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
