so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I still have a little drunk in my system
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
