I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
