Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
