chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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