she is the kim kardashian of front butts
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Randomize
