so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
