I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Randomize
