I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Less talking, more tequila
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
