The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
