All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Can I color on your dick again?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
