I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
