Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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