He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
And then he peed in my hair
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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